By ROBERT JUMPER
One Feather Editor
“They cry in the dark so you can’t see their tears. They hide in the light, so you can’t see their fears. Forgive and forget, all the while, love and pain become one and the same in the eyes of a wounded child.
“It’s all so confusing this brutal abusing. They blacken your eyes, then apologize. Be daddy’s good girl, and don’t tell mommy a thing. Be a good little boy, and you’ll get a new toy. Tell grandma you fell from the swing.”
Pat Benatar, Crimes of Passion 1980
We have been talking about domestic violence because this is the month set aside to place focus on the issue. We have discussed elder and spousal abuse. But those are not the only sufferers from this societal challenge. For all those adults who are victims and survivors of family violence, there are also children who suffer the physical and emotional damage that ensues from an environment of ongoing parental combat.
Children often end up being unwilling witnesses to the episodes of yelling, belittling, and beating that are typical elements of domestic violence. Even if the abuser doesn’t attack the children, the mental scars left by witnessing a beloved parent or grandparent being treated in a violent way sometimes last longer than physical wounds.
The following information is taken from The World Health Organization website.
Types of violence against children
Most violence against children involves at least one of six main types of interpersonal violence that tend to occur at different stages in a child’s development.
- Maltreatment (including violent punishment) involves physical, sexual, and psychological/emotional violence; and neglect of infants, children and adolescents by parents, caregivers, and other authority figures, most often in the home but also in settings such as schools and orphanages.
- Bullying (including cyber-bullying) is unwanted aggressive behavior by another child or group of children who are neither siblings nor in a romantic relationship with the victim. It involves repeated physical, psychological, or social harm, and often takes place in schools and other settings where children gather, and online.
- Youth violence is concentrated among children and young adults aged 10–29 years, occurs most often in community settings between acquaintances and strangers, includes bullying and physical assault with or without weapons (such as guns and knives), and may involve gang violence.
- Intimate partner violence (or domestic violence) involves physical, sexual, and emotional violence by an intimate partner or ex-partner. Although males can also be victims, intimate partner violence disproportionately affects females. It commonly occurs against girls within child marriages and early/forced marriages. Among romantically involved but unmarried adolescents it is sometimes called “dating violence”.
- Sexual violence includes non-consensual completed or attempted sexual contact and acts of a sexual nature not involving contact (such as voyeurism or sexual harassment); acts of sexual trafficking committed against someone who is unable to consent or refuse; and online exploitation.
- Emotional or psychological violence includes restricting a child’s movements, denigration, ridicule, threats and intimidation, discrimination, rejection, and other non-physical forms of hostile treatment.
When directed against girls or boys because of their biological sex or gender identity, any of these types of violence can also constitute gender-based violence.
Impact of violence
Violence against children has lifelong impacts on health and well-being of children, families, communities, and nations. Violence against children can:
- Result in death. Homicide, which often involves weapons such as knives and firearms, is among the top four causes of death in adolescents, with boys comprising over 80% of victims and perpetrators.
- Lead to severe injuries. For every homicide, there are hundreds of predominantly male victims of youth violence who sustain injuries because of physical fighting and assault.
- Impair brain and nervous system development. Exposure to violence at an early age can impair brain development and damage other parts of the nervous system, as well as the endocrine, circulatory, musculoskeletal, reproductive, respiratory, and immune systems, with lifelong consequences. As such, violence against children can negatively affect cognitive development and results in educational and vocational under-achievement.
- Result in negative coping and health risk behaviors. Children exposed to violence and other adversities are substantially more likely to smoke, misuse alcohol and drugs, and engage in high-risk sexual behavior. They also have higher rates of anxiety, depression, other mental health problems and suicide.
- Lead to unintended pregnancies, induced abortions, gynecological problems, and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.
- Contribute to a wide range of non-communicable diseases as children grow older. The increased risk for cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes, and other health conditions is largely due to the negative coping and health risk behaviors associated with violence.
- Impact opportunities and future generations. Children exposed to violence and other adversities are more likely to drop out of school, have difficulty finding and keeping a job, and are at heightened risk for later victimization and/or perpetration of interpersonal and self-directed violence, by which violence against children can affect the next generation.
No community is immune to the sickness of domestic violence and any family member is a potential victim of abuse, even here on the Qualla Boundary. Unfortunately, the most innocent of us are also the most susceptible to domestic violence, the children. Children are the most trusting. They are the most dependent. They are easily overpowered. They are often the most confused as to why they are being abused and most afraid to speak up when abused. And they will remain silent about their pain either out of fear, or out of loyalty and love. Loyalty and love even though they are being treated with hate.
In North Carolina and on the Qualla Boundary, every person, including you and me, is obligated to report suspected abuse of a child. North Carolina requires “any person or institution who has cause to suspect that any juvenile is abused, neglected, or dependent… or has died as a result of maltreatment” to make a report to the county department of social services where the child resides or is found. G.S. 7B-301(a). The Cherokee Code, Section 7B-301(a) says, “Any person, institution, Tribal agency, or Tribal entity with cause to suspect that any child has been maltreated or has died as the result of maltreatment, shall report the case of that maltreated child to the director of human services. The report may be made orally, by telephone, or in writing and disclosure of any otherwise confidential information does not constitute a violation of the Tribal of federal laws or regulations.”
Our duty to report suspected child abuse is not forgiven if the abuse is occurring in our families or good friends. We don’t get to look the other way if its our boss. We don’t get to look the other way if a child is being abused in a restaurant in a family we don’t know, whether we are a customer, a waitress, or a busboy. It doesn’t matter if you are an elected official, a Chief, or a member of the tribal workforce. It doesn’t matter if you are a tribal elder or editor or any other label we wear. You are accountable for reporting when you suspect that a child is being abused, especially if the abuse is happening in front of you.
It shouldn’t matter if there is a law saying we should turn in those who perpetrate domestic violence toward children. It should break our hearts to think that anyone would abuse a child. It should shame us if we allow it to go on. It should convict us that we are enabling an abuser to continue to hurt kids by our silence. It is like we are swinging the fist or belt ourselves.
As we use this month of October to be aware and reminded of the suffering of family members in violent situations, let’s commit to ending the suffering of the little ones. You may be holding your tongue because its family, or maybe you think you’re being overly sensitive and it is not really that bad, but you may be allowing the suffering to continue. Report it. Let the professionals investigate. You may be ending the pain of a child and possibly an entire family.
If you are seeing abuse happening now, dial 911 so that there may be an immediate response. If it is something that you suspect is going on, you may call Cherokee Police Department Dispatch at 497-4131. The Public Health and Human Services Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Program is 828-359-6830 or toll-free 800-264-9611. The office number is forwarded to an on-call mobile phone so that you may speak to someone any time, any day.
A line in the chorus of Pat Benatar’s “Hell is for Children” cries out a truth that we should all take to heart. “And you know that their little lives can become such a mess. And you shouldn’t have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh.”-
