By SCOTT MCKIE B.P.
ONE FEATHER STAFF
“Call it both ways ref!”
“Come on boys, hit somebody!”
With fall approaching, we are all looking forward to another year of prep sports with football leading the way for many of us. We’ve all heard the above statements screamed over and over at games at all levels from pee wees to pros, and that makes me think of the different types of football fans.
The fan’s fan: This type of fan can be observed at the field at least two hours ahead of kickoff. They are often adorned, head to toe, in official gear from their team including appropriately-colored socks, team shorts, team t-shirt or golf polo, and team hat. A female fan’s fan will often add team earrings and small face painting. The fan’s fan can name every player on their team, is hoarse at the end of the game from screaming, and generally doesn’t like the current coach because the old one “did it better”. It is best to approach a fan’s fan with caution during a game, and do not approach at all for three days after a loss.
The fair weather fan: This type of fan is often observed wearing different team gear depending on who is currently in first place or who just won the last championship. These fans are often at odds with the fan’s fan who questions their loyalty. The fair weather fan usually owns the same gear as the fan’s fan, but it is not of one team, but many different teams – all just waiting for that team to find glory again so the gear can be displayed like the proud plumage of a peacock. Be on the lookout for a large number of fair weather fans displaying Buckeyes gear in the next year.
The angry fan: This type of fan is similar to the fan’s fan in appearance, but their demeanor is much different. They not only scream at the refs…they scream at their own players and fans. The angry fan doesn’t like the coach, the refs, or anything that is going on the field at the moment unless their team is up by 30 points – and sometimes, not even then. Approach the angry fan only during the summer months.
The casual fan: This type of fan is very docile…they support their team and are loyal, but they aren’t particularly fond of football or they just don’t understand the intricacies of the game. They love the gear. They love the atmosphere (i.e. the bands, the other fans, the weather, the food), but they probably don’t know that Apple had nothing to do with developing the I-formation. The casual fan can often be spotted playing on their phone during games. This type of fan is the favorite of refs because they generally do not scream at anyone during games.
Whatever type of fan you are, enjoy the upcoming football season. No matter which team you pull for, remember the words of legendary Packers coach Vince Lombardi, “Football is like life – it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority.”
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“If this lady was to get a hold of me, she would throw me on my head in literally one second flat,” Conor McGregor, UFC interim men’s featherweight champion, said of Ronda Rousey, UFC women’s bantamweight champion.