Brooke Barrett, LMCHC
By BROOKE BARRETT, LMCHC
This is not an article that is going to tell you how social media is the downfall of humanity and the only escape is going off grid. Social media isn’t going anywhere. For many of us, it’s how we stay connected, learn new things, and even find support we might not have access to otherwise. The problem isn’t social media itself…it’s how easily it can slip from being a useful tool into something that quietly drains our mood, attention, and sense of self. Most things can be good (in moderation). If you pause and consider the amount of work our brains are constantly doing to keep up…we see more information in 3 swipes of your finger, than our grandparents saw in their entire lifetime. And most of us do it first thing in the morning.
Using social media in a healthy way doesn’t require deleting all your apps or swearing off scrolling forever. It starts with intention.
Here are a few therapist-approved tips for building a healthier relationship with social media.
- Notice how it actually makes you feel
Before worrying about screen time limits, pay attention to your body and mood. After scrolling, do you feel inspired, calmer, connected….or tense, inadequate, and restless? Your nervous system gives feedback long before your brain labels something as “too much.” If an app consistently leaves you feeling worse, that’s information worth listening to. - Pick your feed like you would decorate your home
You wouldn’t keep items in your house that make you feel small or stressed every time you see them. The same applies to your feed. Mute, unfollow, or take breaks from accounts that trigger comparison, shame, or outrage…even if they’re popular or “educational.” Follow people who feel grounding, realistic, and aligned with your values. - Set boundaries around when – not just how much – you scroll
Mindless scrolling often happens when we’re already depleted: late at night, first thing in the morning, or during moments of stress. Consider creating “no-scroll zones,” such as before bed, during meals, or while spending time with your kids. These boundaries protect your attention and help your brain actually rest. - Use social media for connection, not self-evaluation
Social platforms are designed to encourage comparison, even when we don’t mean to. If you notice yourself measuring your parenting, body, productivity, or worth against what you see online, gently remind yourself: you are seeing highlights, not real life. Try shifting your use toward messaging friends, sharing authentically, or engaging with content that feels human rather than performative. - Take breaks without making them dramatic
You don’t need to announce a digital detox or delete everything to step back. Even a weekend break, a few app-free evenings, or removing an app from your home screen can reduce compulsive use. Healthy breaks are about relief, not punishment. - Be mindful of who’s benefiting
If social media is part of your work, advocacy, or creative life, it’s okay to use it intentionally. But if you notice that your labor, attention, or emotional energy is constantly going outward with little return, it may be time to recalibrate. You’re allowed to protect your mental health—even from platforms that claim to be “helpful.”
Weekly Challenge
Rearrange your social media apps on your phone and replace them with something like your calculator or another app. You will immediately notice how often you automatically open an app when you suddenly become confused why you are staring at your calculator instead of Facebook! Give it a try and see how often this happens for you
At its best, social media can be a place for learning, laughter, and community. At its worst, it can quietly disconnect us from ourselves and the physical world happening in front of you. The goal isn’t perfection…it’s awareness. When you scroll with intention, you stay in charge of the tool, instead of the tool running you.
If you’re finding it hard to step back, that doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means the system is designed to hook your attention. Compassion for yourself and your nervous system is always a good place to start.
If you’ve read this entire article without opening another app, that alone deserves recognition.
Have a mental health or relationship question? Submit anonymously to Ask a Therapist at asktherapistbrooke@gmail.com. Your question might help others too.
**This column is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health provider or dial 911
